Side Hustles, Shame & Geoffrey Owens

To be clear, I don’t know Geoffrey Owens. In fact, my Google search query was ‘Elvin from the Cosby Show’, as I could never put his actual name to his face. If you attempt similar searches, it won’t take very long to discover an incident that took place at a Trader Joe’s almost seven years ago. Dig a bit deeper and you’d find that he wasn’t a customer in this story, but a cashier. You’d then discover seemingly candid images of him ringing someone up, looking quite focused on the task at hand. Nothing to see here, right?

I remember when those images first came out. Like most of you, I’m always remotely interested in the “where are they now” lore you can dig up on the internet on nearly anyone famous. Naturally, I was intrigued by one of my favorite characters of one of my favorite shows, up until it was pulled from syndication after the Bill Cosby scandal. It didn’t take very long for ignorance to rear its ugly head as people of all walks of life took turns participating in a reckless ‘how the mighty have fallen’ campaign, job-shaming Geoffrey for being ‘caught’ working at Trader Joe’s.

I thought about delving deeper into the ‘why are people like this’ rabbit hole and quickly realized it would take at least 3 CAS quarterlies to even scrape the surface on human behavior as it pertains to the illusion that is fame. It made more sense in this case to lean into, or in this case, push back against a mindset that has plagued the entertainment industry for far too long.

Imagine working on the second season of a remake of a TV series that you grew up watching. You’ve been nominated for and have won a mantle’s worth of prestigious awards and the accolades that come along with them. Things are going great! No one knows you, but by the time you get into a conversation, it inevitably spills out that you have one of the most amazing and rewarding jobs known to man. Fast-forward a few years and your entire world is rocked by a pandemic. Followed by a historic strike just a few short years later.

You no longer have the consistent union hours you once had and run the risk of losing your medical insurance for you and your family of dependents. After polling a few colleagues who experienced similar scenarios like this, most–if not all agree that a sense of shame was one of the first negative emotions that were stirred up when job security became an issue after having not been an issue for so long.

Sadly, this scenario has played out to be the truth of countless of our fellow colleagues, many of whom have been secretly delivering your meals or groceries and wouldn’t be caught dead being ‘caught’ like Geoffrey Owens.

Now if we pick up where we left off with Geoffrey, we know that he became a meme faster than fighter jets breaking the sound barrier. It was sickening as I witnessed the cyber bludgeoning of a man who had clearly fallen on hard times and like anyone else never thought for one minute would become the center of senseless ridicule and shame.

Unlike Geoffrey, many, if not all of us, work strictly behind the scenes and will never truly know the anguish of handling that highly concentrated level of scrutiny in a short span of time. Yet and still, what is it that makes some of us flinch and shrink back in terror at the idea of not only doing ‘regular work’ but being discovered by our colleagues and peers after achieving high and lofty levels of success by our industry standards?

Sometimes, it isn’t always about an unhealthy fear of being discovered. We have to look at the industry post-strikes as the barren wasteland that it is. Amidst all the uncertainty of Hollywood’s continued existence as the top of the top of the industry food-chain, the work simply isn’t in abundance as it once was. Some see having a side-hustle as a very necessary necessity and others have actually considered the creative work (mixing, sound design etc) as the new side-hustle being replaced with ‘regular 9 to 5’ jobs that pay consistently and if you’re lucky, have decent health care options.

So how do we address this stigma and shame head on in our industry? For starters we need to talk about it on a case by case basis. Remaining open-minded and creative is what landed me a mostly consistent gig as an audio editor for a prominent podcast. Now those of you who know me professionally know that I despise editorial, but also know that I’m quite adept at it. And also there’s the 4 kids my wife and I share. I have a colleague who shared that she’s actively and aggressively taking on independent film and television projects of all budget sizes to fill in the gaps between union-based work, which comes in a little less than part-time these days.

Here are some tips and ideas on how to survive and possibly thrive in these very uncertain economic times:

• Swallow your pride: Accept the fact that you are literally not alone in this. I know some of the same people you do and we probably both know a multi-award winning [insert professional audio role of your choice here] somebody who can’t cash in those awards for cash, rent, shelter or food. 

• Multiple streams of income: If finances permit, diversifying your skillset could be another way to supplement your income and possibly sustain your current lifestyle while we wait out this financial winter we’re experiencing. Maybe it’s time to learn that “other” audio skill and accept that you can no longer sustain yourself as a one-trick pony. Keep in mind some of these streams don’t necessarily have to be directly related to your field. Sometimes it’s just nice to know how bills will be paid in advance. Having different ways to earn a living without burning out is the new black.

• Don’t tolerate the shame: Not from you, and definitely not from anyone else. Whether you’re driving a forklift at Home Depot or airport shuttle vans, get your cargo and people safely to their destination, rinse and repeat. Honest, hard work is nothing to be ashamed of. While it’s your choice whether or not it’s best to share your occupation(s) with the rest of the world, it’s also your choice whether or not you’ll allow anyone to scrutinize or judge you because you mix shows sporadically by day and change bedpans consistently by night.

It was great knowing that Geoffrey’s story didn’t end with an abrupt departure from Trader Joes to protect his privacy and his dignity. What naysayers and ignorant people meant for destruction became a blessing as people like Tyler Perry and 50 Cent gave him roles on their major projects where Geoffrey was very much able to show that he’s still got it and began to pursue acting more intentionally.

The best part of this whole thing is, Geoffrey would eventually return to his job at Trader Joe’s with a renewed sense of purpose and a deeper resolve, no longer tolerating being job-shamed for doing what he could to support himself and his family. Maybe, just maybe, we can stop caring what ANYONE thinks of who we are or what we do for a living. Maybe it’s simply time to put in the work necessary to get to the next level, even if the means of transportation from one career goal to another is not what we planned for or anticipated.

Eventually, this economy will right itself, even if we don’t recognize it when it finally does. In the meantime, remain vigilant and always be prepared to pivot into something new and unexpected, as it just might hold the keys to your next level.

Making Good Time

I had the pleasure and honor of having a brief but powerful and candid conversation with Re-recording Mixer legend Joe Earle back at the CAS Awards early this month and very recently I've been inspired to share with you how my thought construct has changed since then.

For starters I'll share what he told me after he and I connected when I talked about the importance of family relationships. "Gregg, I can summarize it like this. When you're at home, make sure you're at home, fully connected. And when you're at work, be at work. Make sure the two don't intertwine."

The following is the result of my thoughts on what he said weeks later when it dawned on me how much of my own family interactions I was missing out on.

When it comes to long distance trips, I HATE stopping at rest stops. I love the idea of making good time, and whatever discomfort I feel along the way (needing to use the restroom or eat a full meal) I suppress because in my mind, nothing is more important than achieving the goal.

Over the years, I was forced to learn to stop as I picked up more passengers; my wife and eventually all four of our children, all of whom were not even remotely interested in my steadfast goal of keeping time with zero stops.

One particular long-distance trip, with my family in tow, I was "making good time" but began to see double. Mind you, it's maybe 3am and raining. For those of you long distance drivers out there, you know that in-between sleep and awake moment that occurs that can be incredibly scary.

To this day, I can't account for maybe 2 and a half minutes of that drive, and remember perking up absolutely terrified, not knowing if the lane assist kept me from driving into a ditch at 70 MPH or if it was the hand of God Himself. I pulled over at the next rest stop, told my family I'd be back and went into the men's bathroom and cried like a baby in the only clean stall there.

Think of your path to success as a long drive on a major highway. Think of the length of the drive as your lifespan and the destination as success in all it's glory. The entertainment industry is unforgiving as unlike other industries, the "drive" can be longer than most and without the appropriate rest stops--like your child's first steps or first basketball game, your spouse or partner's anniversary or birthday, or just mental health days or recharging.

On the road trip of your career, take those rest stops. It can be a side hustle in an economy like this or it can be quality time with family or time carved out to see a therapist on a regular basis. It might be your physical health and personal trainer might be the order of the day.

Either way, those rest stops count, not just for your loved ones, but for you. Today on road trips with family, I still like to keep good time, but I also make time for pit stops so the family can recharge. I might rush them back into the vehicle, but I found those trips to be more fruitful than the ones when I'd push, ignoring fatigue, my bladder or my stomach.

I think back to my conversation with Joe, and the pause before he said what he said was far louder than when he actually spoke. I knew without needing to know details that he was speaking to me from a very real place, giving a fair warning to keep work and family life separate. Mind you, he gave me some solid advice and leads on the next steps to take in my career, but his recommendation of the family rest stop was by far the best advice anyone's given me to date.

The Road Less Traveled

More like, the road not paved, covered in overgrown forestry. This has been, and remains to be my personal experience as my career in audio post begins to slowly take on a life of its own. I often tell my wife how tired I am of being a trailblazer 'for my people' or the ONLY black man to own and operate a remote audio post facility--that I know of—specializing in film scoring, re-recording mixing, sound design and anything you can imagine related to the sonic arts for motion picture, television, interactive media, audiobooks, podcasts and more.

Before the pandemic, it was emotionally exhausting to attend conventions (remember those?) and see absolutely no one who remotely looked like me. Handing out my business cards was always an awkward crapshoot, as I either came across as cocky (my over-compensating attempts to show that I belonged), or super passive (when I realized that I truly didn't belong but was determined to 'network' and stick around though I knew I was wasting my time).

Every now and again, I'd meet a brother, but those interactions rarely panned out how I envisioned them while rehearsing my approach in my head. I was often met with skepticism or indifference (sometimes both mashed together) and my daydream of two unicorns hitting it off quickly transformed to daymares. Eventually, I'd mirror that same energy in future interactions because subconsciously I gave up and believed that it would always be this way: Rejection from the white male dominated audio post world, and ostracized by the very few people of color who I assumed I could relate to. If 'woe is me' was a person....

I'll spare you my experiences as the only black intern at the then biggest post house on the east coast. What I will say is I promised myself on my worst day there, that I'd start my own company and begin the arduous work of undoing a non-diverse industry construct, designed to cater to a seemingly 'white boys only' club. I vowed that when it was my turn to lead, I would do so on the basis of diversity and not simply for diversity's sake. Meritocracy, inclusion and education would be my lead-ins, amidst leaving a huge space for conversation; another aspect that was glaringly absent during my tour as an intern.

You may have been swinging around a figurative machete, clearing away overgrowth and debris as you forge a solitary and unclear path towards your dream career, and eventually your purpose. It may be difficult and often feel like you're escaping from a prison of obscurity with nothing but a stainless steel spoon. I would advise that you press forward, even in the face of sullen indifference from those that dominate this industry. And look around you! This pandemic has leveled the playing field, creating pockets of great opportunity that escape the once wide gaze of the gatekeepers. Know that you're not alone, and if you haven't given up yet, you've been unknowingly drafted into a digital content revolution the likes of which the entertainment industry has never seen.

Your dream matters, but you can't see it realized into reality if you spend as much mental, spiritual and emotional currency lamenting about how difficult your path to greatness is. I can tell you from experience that it's an over-priced investment with negative returns. If a spoon is all you've got to dig yourself out of the black hole of a seemingly massive racial or gender divide, sharpen that spoon and get to work! Once you're out, you may be not be welcome to use the neatly paved roads with clear signs to success as those who's faces adorn the entertainment career magazines or receive accolades for the work they've done at all the top award shows. Don't focus on awards and pretentious interviews. Your job is to clear your own path. Whip out that machete and get to work!

And if you missed the key concept from both those figurative examples, consistency is king (or queen, depending on your perspective)! Slow and steady is a real concept. Just ask Warren Buffet! I still get messages from family members, friends and former colleagues who are pleasantly surprised when they check up on me or my work and see that I'm still expanding and not at the same place they last encountered me (financially, spiritually and emotionally). Some reach out with ill-intent, hoping that I've since given up and opt for a life of misery like them. Without a commitment to consistency, this would be a very different article--if there would even be an article at all.

Beware of how you spend your 'persistent' currency, and recognize those situations and people who would not serve your vision for your career and ultimately, your purpose! If Such & Such Post is hiring, do yourself a favor and research everything you can about them while or before you enter the interview process. Don't be dazzled by their awards or million dollar projects and client-base. How aware are they of the community their facility is nestled in? What are their morals and values? What's their credo? How human are their 'human resources'? Are they committed to furthering the art-form and the work? More importantly, how would you mesh with said company? Will you have to compromise your values?

I don't know all the answers and can only speak from my unique perspective and vantage point, hoping that I was able to share some valuable insight that you can take and directly apply to your career journey. In fact, reminding yourself that it's a journey can be helpful when you focus on the journey and avoid the illusion that is a destination. I don't know what your 'road less traveled' looks like, but I do know that it's very possible to find success taking alternative routes.

Re-routing......

Free-Throws and The Art of Following Up

I have found that some of the best analogies come from my past as a former athlete. I found it even more interesting that this simple shot reminded me of something we need to do in business dealings more often and more consistently.

I played for a then Division III school and one of the things our trainer stressed was shooting free throws while under duress. What he would do was make us run suicide drills (I'll leave it to you to google that) and while our adrenaline levels were spiking, he'd stop us randomly during these rigorous drills and we'd all gather around to attempt to shoot the most fundamental shot in the game. His argument was simple. If we could repeatedly and quickly go to a place of intensity and calm ourselves on call, we would become better at adding more uncontested points on the score board and raising our chances of winning more games decided by free throws.

Following up is no different than the free throw. It's uncontested and costs you nothing and when studied closely it can mean the difference between closing the deal and having potential clients bring their business elsewhere. I'm sure that most of us have watched some form of organized basketball whether at the college or professional level. I'm also positive that you were shocked that many athletes seem to fail at the what's seemingly the easiest way to score in the game. Following up is no different. Some of us are convinced that someone saying no is the end of the sale or deal, which is true to a point. The interaction is a different story altogether and shouldn't end with a resounding no or an ambiguous 'not now'.

There is hope, though. Following up is all about practice at the end of the day. Yes, "we're talkin' 'bout practice." Whether you're an introvert, shy or suffer from chronic laziness (an ailment we all suffer from), practicing this seemingly elusive art is quite simple. It really starts with a simple concept known as accountability. Holding ourselves accountable takes many forms, but when it comes to getting better at following up with clients, start with those closest to you. Did you invite your uncle to your cookout 6 months in advance? Write down a reminder date closer to the event where you reach out or 'follow up' to see if he's still interested in attending. Haven't heard back from you doctor after that non-invasive procedure? Take the initiative and give them a ring. Did your boss mention development training for a promotion in passing? Follow up with them for further discussion.

Following up in a respectable and non-stalkerish manner does two things. For starters it shows the person you're following up with that you actually care about whatever it is that partnered you up in the first place. Secondly, it's a great way to hold yourself accountable for your actions. In business and entrepreneurship, you won't always have a mentor or a best friend to push us and encourage us towards the championship of success. The path we've chosen is often a lonely path and can seem more like an individual sport than a team one. Practicing the art of following up is crucial and like the free-throw can be the difference between winning it all, or 'losing by a single point.' At the end of the day, it truly is more art than science. Follow up too much and you may be perceived as a pest or worse. Follow up too little and you might miss out on the 'front-of-mind' opportunity and lose out to more focused and patient individuals.

I remember being bitter on my Division III team, the Atlantic Union College Flames. We were playing in a very important conference game and I was riding the bench for most of the season because I wasn't living up to my potential. On this particular night the starting small forward rolled his ankle and had to be carried off the floor to the locker room. My heart pounded in my chest when the coach looked over and said, "Vilfranc! Get in there!" We were down two points with maybe 10-15 seconds left. On a broken play, the point guard recovered and hit me with a perfect pass as I slashed towards the basket off the right wing. I drove for the layup and was fouled in the act of shooting. I scored and tied the game with 0.8 seconds left in regulation. In a moment I realized that an entire season was dependent upon me hitting a single shot to give us a one point lead and potentially the game. As I stood there at the free-throw line scared out of my mind and almost ready to vomit, I recalled those training sessions and sank the shot.

Remember. Doing several little things right can mean the difference between landing the deal and missing out. Follow up right now with that client who's been waiting to hear from you, even though you know you won't be working with them. Follow up and follow through!

Throw The Jab!

Breaking Down The Jab

They have called it the Sweet Science for as long as I can remember and after you've read this blog post, you'll see why. I won't get into the shear brutality of the sport as I want to draw attention to a valuable life-lesson we can all learn from the sports most basic punch. You guessed it! It's the jab! A quick, snappy punch thrown with one's weaker hand, the jab is more than just a way to strike your opponent. It can be used to create distance, press an attack, disrupt your opponent's rhythm or set up your power punch. You can fire off one good jab or let loose a flurry of jabs to keep the other fighter guessing. In the technical, professional sport of boxing, most fighters use it to score decisive points. Simply put, get it in the opponents face or gut as quickly as possible; in and out and back in again.

Life Parallels

The first principle that can be taken from the jab is all too obvious: Consistency! The jab is the most basic and menial task that often reflects some of the mundane tasks we must compile in abundance to achieve both short and long term goals. If you're a filmmaker, there are several 'jabs' you could be practicing even now to hone your craft. Whether you're a novice or a seasoned vet, you should always be writing. Like the jab, it shouldn't cost you much in energy consumption. For video (and even audio) editors, you should be editing; Composers should be practicing scales or notating (our version of writing). You get the point, I hope.

The other thing is volume, or quantity. Judges tend to favor busier fighters, usually the ones controlling the point totals by throwing (and landing) jabs early and often. When it comes to the seemingly menial tasks in your line of work, think of times and opportunities when you could've given more effort in terms of volume or quantity. For my millennial group, the term content creation should be a bit more your speed to help drive this point home. How often to you release content (throw the jab) and how often is that content relevant to your audience's needs (land the jab)?

The 80/20 Rule

Don't get it twisted. Don't think for a second that these are all easy tasks, because easy requires no effort and that's not the point here, as even a poorly thrown or ill-timed jab can cause injury... (Or you could just get knocked out). It makes me think of a concept I've recently wrapped my head around called the 80-20 principle, which basically states that 80% of results you receive is based on 20% of effort you put in to achieve those results. Yes, I can already see those wheels turning in your head. This principle (also called Pareto's principle) is a razor sharp, double-edged sword, as it can be positive or negative.

Let's apply it to Boom Mic Operator Bob... or just Bob. 80% of Bob's success on being called back to work on multiple projects is based on 20% of the effort he puts into being professional, friendly and hard working. Camera Operator Cammy, on the other hand isn't professional at all. She's almost always late and doesn't work well with others. We can then also say that 80% of Cammy's alleged 'bad luck' is due to 20% of her attitude, mindset and habits. 20%, people! So Cammy doesn't have to completely alter her personality. She simply has to account for 20% of an attitude adjustment and mindset shift and voila! She'd start to see a positive employment response of, you guessed it: 80%!

What's it all mean?

Much like the figurative boxing match we've been discussing, when it came to making consistent decisions for my career and my life, I wasn't always throwing the jab. Sometimes I didn't throw it at all. I'd spend nearly all the rounds slipping, bobbing and weaving, hoping to land that one blow that would end the fight in a victory for me. Lots of people think this way. They ignore the most fundamental core actions they can engage in to build a solid foundation, and instead seek only the homerun deal or acquisition. The thing is, if you wait too long to land a knockout punch, what if you miss? What if you connect and it has no effect? Your opponent spent the entire fight jabbing away, building a social media following, honing their craft watching youtube videos, etc...

So my challenge to you is simple. Find what your 'jab' is and throw that jab as early and as often as possible! Be wise, though. Stamina is also a key factor that have cost many boxers a fight and even their careers. For example, we're still all riding the New Year wave. The gyms are still fairly packed with people, most of which WILL quit come February. Determine what your career stamina level is, and be honest. Are you filled with tons of motivation and very little follow through? Then your jab is your follow through and you need to work that thing like it's going out of style! Once you've gotten your stamina up, get creative with you 'jab.' Can it be monetized? Can it be a way to differentiate yourself from your competition? Is it teachable?

And The Winner By Decision....

It really is all about deciding what you want to do and how you want to do it. I hope the jab analogy brought it home for you the way it did for me. Once you've decided to run your business like an actual business and once you've decided to kill every bad habit that kept you from thriving in the past, you'll be an unstoppable force in your industry or line of work. No one wins in this life by out-motivating the next guy. You've got to out-box everyone in your network figuratively so that the judges in your industry can clearly and easily pick a winner.

If domination is your goal, then consider arguably the boxer with the greatest jab, Lennox Lewis who had this to tweet back in March of 2018. "You can’t just make a jab an inconvenience or annoyance for an opponent, you have to make it a weapon... a punishing piston that they have to think twice and three times about."

And there you have it, folks. Consider the 80/20 principle this year. Consider the fact that there are still well over 300 days left and consider the your stamina. Determine what your 'jab' is from now, and be sure to deploy it early and often. If looking ahead to an entire year overwhelms you, breakdown your projects and goals by quarter and think of them as rounds. Don't come out swinging every power punch in your arsenal in quarter one. Throw that jab and use them to set up your power punches or power moves near the end of the 3rd quarter and before the end of the year.

Keep in mind that your opponent may very well be the person in the mirror. Well? What are you waiting for? Knock yourself out!

Betting on Yourself is Never a Gamble

I don't know much about Vegas or Atlantic City as I've never been to either venue. I have, however been forced to play hands that I was dealt in my life and as a professional, I've played several; some good, some bad. At times I didn't know when to hold or to fold, but as I look back I quickly realized that I never once truly bet on myself or what I had to offer. Interestingly enough I went to bat for other companies that I've worked for and when it came to me, I almost always folded. I've worked for some great establishments like Apple and Audible to name a few, but I was never confident that if the chips were down, my employers would bet on me. And how can I blame them?

During my personal development these past 3 months, it's come to my realization that I alone am fully responsible for effecting change in my life and my career. Not a single person can do what I do—the way that I can do it. From something as simple as my unique speech pattern to the way I approach crafting a film score for my clients, everything about my being can be imitated, but never duplicated. Finally, out of all the things I've done to improve my self worth and personal/professional development, this one thought changed everything. It stems from the most fundamental of ideals—we are all unique. Applying this mantra of sorts to one's everyday routine can have major life-altering effects. This isn't to be confused with believing in oneself or abilities, which is a superpower in and of itself. Yet and still, accepting that you are NOT just another number or gear in a major corporate machine will alter the way you see yourself and your goals.

I'm not suggesting that you should all go up in arms and quit your jobs, as where you are right now may possess a wealth of skills and knowledge that you need BEFORE you show your hand. What I am saying is you must be prepared to invest in yourself in every positive way imaginable—and by positive I mean in ways that have tangible results that can lead you to a healthier, wealthier and happier life. Now your ideals for a happy life may not include wealth or riches at all, and that's the beauty of it! No two success stories have to be alike. They do, however all stem from ideals of successful people who placed all their chips down for their personal cause without flinching. The thing they were all thinking? No one can do it like I can and you know what? They've proven that they're absolutely right.

There will be bumps in the road and life is as far from a game as you could possibly get. Still, you have to play that 'full house' or 'royal flush' despite your fears and apprehensions. I was a freelance film composer and mix engineer for a very long time with no clear or concise set of goals. Since I decided that I was going to bet on myself from here on out, everything began to make sense. I DO have all the tools I need to be successful, whether I was born with them or acquired them along the way. I DO NOT need to invest another cent of finance or energy into any company or entity without first being willing to place that same investment or more into myself. This is why I decided to step away from the corporation I worked with off and on since 2008. They were good to me, but not because their primary goal was to invest in me. Again, this is no knock on them, but rather on myself for not being willing to remove the safety net of a "good job with benefits" to see what I'm truly capable of.

I don't know what your path or purpose is. I do know one thing though. The 'House' always wins!

Full Circle

To say I’ve been blessed in my 20 year long career is a gross understatement. While I have not yet arrived (and I don’t ever plan to), I look back fondly towards every independent recording artist, film director and tv producer I’ve had the pleasure of working with and I have not a single regret. Despite all of this, the desire for more still burns in ways I haven’t felt before. There is definitely a wall or ceiling that I’ve hit as I’ve grown weary of dredging up past accolades in a futile attempt to remain relevant, when the only remedy for that issue is to blaze new trails, create new connections and produce fresh and new content.

Having taken up residence in Massachusetts for almost 4 years, I have yet to tap into the rich culture of film, music and gaming culture that is Boston. I’m not too sure if I just didn’t believe I could achieve the same success I did in New York, or if I was unwilling to let go of the past, fearful of the unknown. That has always been my achilles heel. I’ve never been afraid to fail, but the fear of success has always been ever present, preventing me from realizing my true potential as an artist. Yet and still, evolve I must as I’m very rapidly losing my spring chicken status (my membership was irreverently revoked after age 30).

Over the past few months, however, I’ve focused solely and completely on personal and professional development and while the results have proved promising, the discomfort of sacrificing novelties that don’t contribute to said development is becoming something I look forward to. In layman’s terms, I am embracing discomfort and most days, hanging on for dear life. When I think back to my more athletic days, I can truly say I enjoyed the brutal destruction (and reconstruction) of my muscles whether it was a grueling weight training session with Kevin Golding when I played Division III ball in Lancaster, MA or my personal beat down sessions when I ran endless 40-yard dash wind sprints at Wingate Park in Brooklyn, NY.

So coming full circle this time around (see what I did there?) is all about embracing adversity and discomfort in ways that were only limited to athletics. Creating fresh new music and sniffing out new clients via the independent film market here in Massachusetts has been very difficult and on some days I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing. That right there is what’s brought me joy lately. I’ve somehow found ways to run my mind ragged with new knowledge the way I ran suicides by myself in the sweltering heat, pushing myself to exhaustion. At the end of everyday, I ensure that I’ve done at least one thing that made me extremely uncomfortable; something that made me cringe because I had no control over the outcome. Despite that last point, while I couldn’t control the outcome, I could control the output of energy I put towards the outcome I desired.

So yeah… While I haven’t really gone anywhere, I do feel as though I’m back to that guy who first discovered what he wanted to spend his time doing way back in the late 90’s. The major difference is how I see things now versus how I saw them then. Most people wish they could go back and slap some sense into their younger selves. I beg to differ. I’m actually very happy that I did things exactly the way that I did. I made some bad choices and burned some bridges I had no reason to even light a match in their vicinity. With those mistakes came the adversity that I face today. If focusing on my personal development has taught me anything, it’s taught me that I owe it to myself to spend quality time embracing adversity and discomfort, if and only if an opportunity to level up patiently waits for me on the other side. And speaking of waiting, I’ve ‘waited’ too long for things to just magically appear based on my previous successes. When I ponder on my lack of control of my imminent expiration date, it has driven me to focus on the things that matter and less on the things that don’t.

So the wheel has turned and while I am moving forward, in many ways I’m back to square one and for the first time in a very long time, I couldn’t be more excited for this fresh perspective.